hates the internet

That's right, folks, you heard me: As awesome as it is to be able cram two racks of servers into a few U, sometimes virtual environments just don't cut the mustard. And sometimes, they're just not that cool.

Despite my best efforts, I constantly find myself with a few extra CPU cycles in my brain to rub together, and more often than not what falls out is some ridiculous attempt to bring severely obsolete technology into the modern world.

Many years ago, before there was an internet (at least publically), we had to exchange information by squealing odd sounding noises down phone wires. This data was usually displayed in a text-mode terminal emulator, so needless to say your options as an artist were severely limited.