hatestheinternet

Druplastic Beanstalk

As I sat here watching Cloud Formation delete the stacks for my two previous iterations of cloudy Drupal, it occurred to me that I've been so busy building cloud Drupals in the clouds I've fallen woefully behind in chronicling my adventures.You got it, folks, that can mean only one thing: It's time for yet another poorly arranged grouping of long-winded walls of text ranting and raving and banging a bunch of digital nails in to things. You may wind up with something usable, you may not, but at least if it breaks horribly you get to keep the pieces.

In case you're starting here, I'll spare you having to read our story thus far and summarize: It's about a small town boy and his simple yet endearing quest for moar faster. At his side through all of it was Drupal, the most faithful of the CMS companions, who bore the brunt of it.

Drupal survived being broken up in to multiple hostnames, had us on the edge of our seats when it went toe to toe with CloudFront, then broke our hearts when it let its youngest files/ move with their love to the far away land of S3.

As the journey progressed, "okay" page load speeds became "good", then "good" begat "fast", "fast" became "quick", the story ending at what they both thought was "holy shit". Since that time, however, they've heard rumours of even faster moars, far beyond "holy shit", so rare they're known only to that dude in the chair from the Maxell ads in the 80s. The reason they're setting off again is they've learned that, to reach this much vaunted moar of faster, they must not simply turn to the cloud: They must become, as the kids these days would say, cloudy AF.

Basically, what we're going to be doing is taking the Drupal multi-site installation we sped up during my previous diatribes and converting it in to an Elastic Beanstalk application. I've also decided to forego actual scripts in favour of psuedo code, party due to their length, mostly due to my laziness, but there'll be enough there to get the idea across.

Note that I'm also not saying that this is the easiest, cheapest, or best way of doing this. For all I know this is a hairbrained idea and a flagrant misuse of things, but it works for me and it seems to work well so nyah nyah. Plus, it's fun, and Amazon makes a few pennies, so everybody's happy.

Knock it off, Napoleon, the pages will show up as I write them. Make yourself a dang case-a-dill-ah.